Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
