She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
