; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
