Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
