question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
