if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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