just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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