Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
too bad you live with your parents still
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
