I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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