But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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