he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
