there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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