It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
