Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
