oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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