I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
