Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
