so let's talk penis.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
