It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
