woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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