When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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