Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
