ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
