Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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