I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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