i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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