My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
