I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
