Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
