Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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