I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Blood and glitter go together right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
