if you like me you must not know who I am
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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