You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize