What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize