I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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