A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
soo... how was my night?
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