Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
