They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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