This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
