There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
