Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize