VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize