i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
