I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
