You're my little dorito
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize