Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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