I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
