hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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