There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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