I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
