Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
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