some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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