gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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