i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
