After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
