I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
