you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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