I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
