ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
